My Story...for Charlene.

One of my co-workers is leaving us next month to get married and begin graduate school in D.C. For her going away gift, we were all asked to write "our story" for her. She is a great girl who is always so inquisitive about everyone, their story and what that story does for their life. She is going to study human anthropology...people's stories.

Here's what I wrote for Charlene....


I often feel as if my life is comprised of a jumble of country songs. Recently, I heard a song I’ve heard a million times before in a different way. “You’re gonna miss this,” by Trace Adkins. (Lyrics below.)

She was staring out that window, of that SUV
Complaining, saying I can't wait to turn 18
She said I'll make my own money, and I'll make my own rules
Mamma put the car in park out there in front of the school
Then she kissed her head and said I was just like you

-Chorus-
You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These Are Some Good Times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now But you're gonna miss this

Before she knows it she's a brand new bride
In a one-bedroom apartment, and her daddy stops by
He tells her It's a nice place
She says It'll do for now
Starts talking about babies and buying a house
Daddy shakes his head and says Baby, just slow down

-Chorus-
You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These Are Some Good Times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now But you're gonna miss this

Five years later there's a plumber workin' on the water heater
Dog's barkin', phone's ringin'
One kid's cryin', one kid's screamin'
She keeps apologizin'
He says They don't bother me.
I've got 2 babies of my own. One's 36, one's 23.
Huh, it's hard to believe, but ...

-Chorus-
You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These Are Some Good Times
So take a good look around You may not know it now But you're gonna miss this
You're gonna miss this
Yeah, you're gonna miss this

I heard this song last night and it hit me differently than it ever has before. I had just had dinner with a friend, driven home in my convertible with the top down listening to Frank Sinatra on the radio as loud as I wanted, and was sitting on my couch watching whatever I wanted on TV with a glass of wine.

It was then that I realized: I’m going to miss this.

Someday, I will be married and have children (hopefully!!) and I guarantee there will be crazy days when all I yearn for are convertible rides and red wine.

I suddenly reverted back to my younger days, spending summers riding my bike with my friends all over creation. Singing songs at the top of our lungs as we rode, laughing out loud, and saying “Look! No hands!”

I’d ride my bike to my grandparents’ house and sit with them on their front porch in the evenings. Their neighbors would come over and sit with us. We’d talk about nothing in particular, but those days seemed to hold so much weight looking back.

It’s those times that I think shaped my life. Even though I didn’t know it at the time, I sure miss them now.


Holidays were always special for us too. It seemed like everyone put a lot of pressure on holidays, especially Christmas. Everything had to be perfect. Does each kid have the same amount of presents under the tree? Are the ornaments and tinsel placed “just so” for the pictures? Make sure that we get a picture of the placing of the star on the top of the tree, and each kid putting “their ornament” on. Dress nicely for dinner and for goodness sake, DON’T FIGHT WITH YOUR BROTHER! Now that we are older, holidays are different. Time is shared between in-laws houses, based upon airport delays and baby nap times. I still always remember the holidays from the past, though. Each person had assigned seating at the table. We used the “good china” and the linen table cloth that day.

Every moment of every holiday had a routine—a pattern you could count on from year to year. I miss that now.


The look of my family has changed over the years too. Suddenly one day, the front porch photo in coordinating outfits with the columns framing our pose and the American Flag blowing in the breeze wasn’t valid anymore. I couldn’t help looking back on all of the family portraits taken on our front porches; Easter, July 4th, proms, graduations. Every major event in our lives captured on Kodak on our front porch. All except for maybe the biggest event in our lives. For some reason though, we don’t photograph the tough times. Instead, we amend the pictures in the future. They become blended and molded into something new.

Now when I stand on the front porch, things are different, and I can’t help but remember the old photos, I miss them.


Something I’ll never forget happened just about a year ago. I became an aunt for the first time. There is no explanation for the feeling I had when I got the call. Elaina Grace was on her way into the world, almost a month early. First, I was concerned. Will she be okay arriving this early? Will my brother and sister in law be ready? How many days until I can fly back to see her? When I heard her crying in the background every question and worry went away. I felt instant love for someone I had never even met. And trust me; it’s only grown from there. That baby has forever changed my life, and my families’ lives. Now that she is turning one, I think back to every single time I’ve held her. Remembering the feeling of her warm breaths as she slept on my chest. The way she would hold my finger as I fed her. I got to help give her the first bath at home.

Probably the coolest thing I have been able to do is watch my brother change. He is a daddy now. His whole persona changes when Elaina is around. He melts into this big blob of love that I have never seen before. I see him with her, and it reinforces to me that there are still some good guys in the world.

When I think about Elaina in my life, I instantly think about what it will be like when I have a baby of my own. It’s those tender, intimate moments in life with those who are the most innocent that change you.

I can say honestly that I already miss Elaina’s first moments. I’m happy though that I was around for them, and that I can remind her of how tiny she was when she gets bigger.

When I think about the things and moments in time that I am going to miss, I also have to realize that at least I have them to miss. How sad would life be if we didn’t experience some of these wonderful and heartbreaking moments? We might not know what true heartache is—both happy and sad heartache.

It’s true that life is in the little moments, and I believe that the moments you know you are gonna miss are the biggest of the little moments.

I’m sure gonna miss them.