Things I've been thinking about....

I keep having these random thoughts pop into my head. But then, they pop in again the next day, next hour, next minute, and they don't seem so random anymore. I thought I'd write them down to hopefully free them from my brain.

• I hate being a "grown up."
• I should never have broken up with Brett.
• I hate being the one with no kids, boyfriend, husband or friends.
• I am lonely.
• As much as Mark hurt me, I still can't forget the times we had together, and can't stop going through every moment wondering what went wrong.
• I want to move back home.
• I hate feeling like no one appreciates me, notices me, or cares about what I do at work.
• I am tired of my boss and co-workers putting me down and not seeing anything wrong with it.
• I hate having to work so many jobs just to get by and still worrying about money ever day.
• I hate that I work out 5 times a week--hard, eat right and still can't lose this new weight that suddenly appeared when I turned 25.
• I want someone to look at me and make it all just melt away.
• I want to have someone to talk to before I go to sleep and when I wake up in the morning.
• I want to be able to share my silly thoughts with someone and not worry about what they will think or that they will make fun of me.
• I want to have routines and traditions of my own.
• I want a better job. One that challenges me and rewards me for the work I do.
• I want to start getting the credit for the work I do.
• I miss watching Elaina grow up and change.
• I am afraid my grandma will die alone.
• I am worried about my surgery.
• I don't feel pretty. That makes me feel like Mark is winning.
• I want to move on.
• I am tired of feeling guilty for nothing I ever did.
• I am sad that my dad wants nothing to do with me.
• I don't want to feel sorry for myself.

There are a lot more........but that's all I can manage right now.