I don't get it.....

This is a time when it's not fair to be a girl.

Girls think about things. We analyze a sitituation and try and figure out what made it happen. We usually put ourselves in the blame seat too.

Well, I don't get it.

I constantly say "I know I'm not God's gift, but I have to be at least a little pretty." But he doesn't tell me. He doesn't show me.

Instead he looks at others. Not even "real" other people.

He chooses them over me. He is intimate with them not me.

If I could only understand why this happens maybe I would give it peace. But I don't. And I can't bring it up because then it becomes my problem.

Because nothing is his problem.

Instead it becomes me not eating for days trying to make myself prettier. Or me working out even when I don't want to to try and make him like me more.

None of it works though. He still treats me as if I were hideous.

And I know I am not.