3 or 23?

Why is it when I want to grow up so badly, and am trying so hard to do things by myself, that I feel so abandoned?

From my knowledgeable, detached self, I see that I am being very selfish right now. I see myself as very self centered, I'm the only one who matters and who should be considered, and that's how it is. The thinking side of me wants to slap myself and say, "look lady...the world doesn't revolve around you."

While this entire time, my heart-felt side is crying, saying, "everyone has left me. I'm all alone, and no one cares anymore."

I wonder if my grace period to be sad is over and everyone's tired of hearing about my family and work and stuff. Do I feel guilty about my feelings?

I know in my head it's okay for me to hurt and work through the pain. But I also wonder if I am asking too much from people to not accommodate..but accommodate to me and my moods and wants and needs.

Am I taking advantage of the situations that have been presented to me in the last 9 months? I haven't really ever had an "excuse" to be sad and concerned...so am I dwelling on this one?

Or is everyone else just more adjusted, or more detached than I am?

In my head I know I'm doing the healthy and right thing...but sometimes I feel guilty. Like I'm asking for too much sacrifice from others and none from myself.

And then I remember the sacrificing of my dreams that I have already made.

I have given up my dreams of my family and the future that holds. I have sacrificed peaceful and relaxing holidays for hectic, drive here, drive there holidays for the rest of my life.

For what?